Moon Explodes Parody

MOON EXPLODES, BUSH TO BLAME




NAP New York, September 7, 2005.

Under-funded NASA officials today confirmed that the loud noise and bright flash many people heard and saw last night was the moon exploding.

This could be the greatest disaster since the 2000 election. Experts say that this never would have happened if not for George W. Bush. “His racism, homophobia, hypocritical phony Christianity and his lack of environmental concern have caused this disaster. The entire universe is now suffering the same ill effects of Bush’s failed administration that the people of the world have been suffering since the stolen election of 2000” said Ima Fruitcake, assistant vice-president of Liberals Incensed About Real Stuff (LIARS).

Federal officials would not confirm the explosion, but did say they would investigate the situation as soon as they get done giving out tax cuts for the rich. President Bush would not directly comment on his obvious responsibility for this cosmic disaster, but he did say, with a cynical cowboy grin, “we’re doin’ all we kin.”

Hillary Clinton and other respected officials in the Senate have called for an independent commission to investigate the administration’s incompetence in failing to prevent the explosion of the moon. “We must act soon with this investigation before any crucial documents are shredded,” the former co-president said.

Jesse Jackson said he would form a coalition to determine the disparate impact the moon’s explosion will have on minorities, and investigate the possible roll president Bush’s racist tendencies may have played in this catastrophe.

Some of the very few remaining Bush supporters tried to defend the president by saying this was a natural event that could not have been prevented by anyone. This small group of red-neck crazies went so far as to claim that not even Bill Clinton could have done anything about this.

Several charity groups have offered to help those devastated by the tragedy. The ACLU is offering discount legal services for those seeking to sue the federal government. Planned Parenthood is distributing free condoms and morning-after pills. And PETA is organizing a “Set the zoo animals free” protest.

Celebrities are also getting into the act organizing fundraisers. Mick Jagger said, “We can raise more relief funds off of ticket sales than we could by donating our own money.” Oprah Winfrey said, “In tragic times like these, with a republican in the White House, anything we celebrities can do to hype up disasters is crucial.”

The venerable senator Ted Kennedy, during an impromptu Happy Hour press conference summed it all up: “This tragedy (hic) will disrupt the lives of many people, especially the poor and (hic) minorities. The full impact may not be known for decades. But one thing is certain. Bush is to blame, but he can’t hide out in Crawford anymore, Cindy Sheehan knows where he lives.”

By Matt Reporter, NAP