Football Smackdown

It's the Armageddon! It's a battle-royal free-for-all tag team cage match! It's Pro Football. (*I can't use the real name because it's protected by copyright, so I'll call it the RFL-Rigged Football League.)

What is portrayed as a contest to test the abilities of players and coaches is really just a show. It's only a little bit more legitimate than the WWF.

I have a theory about the "RFL", it's not my theory, it's been talked about for years, but there are hard-core football fans who will never be convinced the fix is in, and there are those who think it's obvious.

The theory is basically this: Pro football is rigged in such a way as to maximize profits for the league. It is controlled by the officials, the "refs", who meet in secret and who are the most "untouchable" characters in the whole show. Most of the money comes from T.V., so ratings are the highest priority. Ticket sales and merchadising are also big revenue sources.

To get high ratings they have to have exciting games, with big stars and they have to ensure some amount of parity so the same teams don't win all the time. Revenue sharing, and salary caps are legitimate ways of trying to achieve this legitimate goal. But to tamper with the outcome of a game by virtue of the way it's officiated is underhanded and phony. But then, the league never really claims that what they offer is anything more than entertainment.

I don't think all the players or coaches are in on the scam. And I don't think all the games are fixed. But the league benefits by having as many teams with playoff hopes as far into the season as possible. It also benefits by having big name stars in prime time games and by having big market teams, or high-rating "legend" teams in prominent playoff games.

This is why *Green Bucket was given the North Division title and home playoff games at Legendary Lameblow Field the last two years in a row, even though they were a mediocre team at best. But *Pukers (with superstar *Brent Favor at *Lameblow) vs. the team from Seattle (co-starring *Micky Homelygren-ex-*Puker coach) has better ratings potential than the *Vice-kings vs. *Seaducks at the *Dumpy Dome in Minneapolis. "May the better team win" is NOT the order of the day, it is "may the most lucrative outcome happen in the least conspicuous way."

I could go on and on with example after example, but you've seen it. You've seen the questionable calls that alter the outcome, not just of a game, but of who goes to the *Stupid Bowl!

Remember the fumble ruled an incomplete pass that knocked the *Oakland Jolly Rogers out of the playoffs and ended up sending the *Minutemen to the the *Stupid Bowl? They ended up inventing the so called "tuck rule" on the spot in order to get the outcome they wanted.

*DISCLAIMER: "Any broadcast, re-broadcast, or pictures, descriptions or accounts of this game without express, written consent of the *RFL is prohibited." This means that they own the game, you can't even do a news story on the game without their permission. So, if a reporter begins to question the legitimacy of the "sport", he is in danger of losing his job. The sports media make tons of money and they have absolutely no inclination to blow the whistle on their own gravy train.

The RFL is just a show. It's merely entertainment. Some, or even most, of the games are legit, but if a particular outcome will benefit the league financially, that outcome will happen, regardless of who the better team is.

Nuff said.
Have a happy season....

-Matt